Pre-Season Injury Updates

Well..we are living up to our Team Geritol name, in that we have already had a rash of injuries and the season is a month away. Here are updates:

Jon Riley..had knee replacement surgery last week. As we all know this is a major surgery and we wish Jon well. Please feel free to give him a call or text. Early speculation is that a major contributor to Jon's knee condition was having to play outfield next to Speedbump Ellis. Speedbump's proclivity for cramping up and going down in a heap meant someone else had to chase all those balls that kept on rolling after The King of the Crampers went down. Jon, for this we apologize and promise that when you return to the lineup, we will find a safer position for you to play.

Mike Fuchs is having surgery to repair a hernia. Yes, Mike is a CPA, yes Mike works in an office and yes Mike rarely lifts anything heavier than a pencil, none the less, Fuchsie ended up with a hernia. The golfing grapevine has it that Mike suffered this injury using one of his best clubs on a round of golf. He had a difficult lie, in some deep grass and gave it his best swing with his foot-wedge. Unfortunately he miscalculated the resistance and difficulty of this well-practiced shot...and..as his foot wedge struck the ground, he caught a cleat, and something had to give. Unfortunately the weak spot was that area right next to his cheese and crackers. We wish Mike well with this surgery. This surgery of course meant it cost yours truly, more money to get my taxes prepared this year. True to his Republican roots, the trickle own theory is alive and well. Mike asked that this be confidential so please keep it to yourself and your closest circle of friends.

Smoochie Hollenback, re-aggravated an old shoulder injury when he was bucked off one of his poodles. As many of you know, Smoochie raises bucking poodles for the "P.P.R.C." (Professional Poodle Rodeo Circuit). Shawn tried to ride of of his more rank doggies, "Ol' Yipper" and Yippper came out of the chute bucking high and hard, then spun counter clockwise, sending Smoochie to the ground. The Smoocha' tried to break his fall, (it is a long ways down from the back of a bucking poodle) and his shoulder was not able to absorb the hard landing. Good news is it is not his throwing arm. Bad news is he doesn't have a throwing arm. No word from the Doctor on Smoochie's return date. Hopefully soon, we miss him. It is the price we pay for having a risk taker like Smoochie on the roster. He works hard, he plays hard, and he rides hard.

We will miss all three of our comrades. They are great guys and wonderful ball players.